Starlight
by Lovely Traum
Summary: My aunt Bella died after giving birth to Renesmee. A year later, the father, Edward, ran away with his sister Rosalie, taking my baby cousin with them. Eleven years have passed, during wich we never stopped looking for her. But she was vanished. Until last week, when mom met Tanya in the street, who told her: "Renesmee and her father are looking for you"...
1. Prologue

Prologue

I am Alice Swan and Jasper Whitlock's eldest daughter. I was six when my aunt Bella died. I have seen her pregnant and suffering, yet with an insane hope. When little Reneesme was born and brought home, I have taken care of her with the love of a big sister. I have kissed her, held her in my arms, fed her, played with her, and even changed some of her diapers- arguing with my parents when they didn't let me! I have loved her unconditionally. But she was taken away from me.  
From me, from mom, from Grandma Renee and from Grandpa Charlie. And each one of us got a deep hole in the heart. "When she'll be old enough to choose where to live, she will come back", they told me, to give me some hope. But I was- we all were- heartbroken.  
The years passed, and our hope grew thinner. We lost Charlie, and I became an actual big sister with the arrival of Alex, my little brother. He makes me happy. I think he kind of filled that blank space left in my heart, even if no one could replace Reneesme. And I have never forgotten her.  
But now... Now that we found her... Now that Tanya, a friend of Edward that mom found in the street the other day put us in contact with him... And that it seems we will finally see Reneesme again soon... I feel afraid.  
I don´t trust Edward nor his family, and I know my little cousin is different from the baby I have met. And I have changed too. But if I want to stay true, I must confess that my fear consists actually of loving her emunconditionally/em. I am afraid of giving her my heart to see it break again. Of surrender all I am but not finding her starlight.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Feelings

My name is Claire Wihtlock. I live in Forks, in a house next to Main Street with my mother, my father, my brother and Grandma Renée. We live with her even if Grandpa Charlie left her his family's house when he died, because she is not able to live there alone (I mean, by herself), and besides, there are too many memories of her beloved husband and daughter between its walls. It really is not easy to live with her! She is stubborn, spends the day watching TV, and doesn´t seem to want to fit in our family... Actually, she is depressed because of what happened to her favourite daughter, Bella.

Only days after graduating from High School, she married her boyfriend, Edward, who by the way was the youngest member of a family with an obsession for vampires. And then, even aware of the risks due to her heart disease, Bella got pregnant, and decided to have the baby. During her pregnancy, she practically had to live in the hospital. She was in constant pain but she only cared about the baby. She really believed vampire magic would help her survive! But it didn´t. She gave birth to Renesmee during her seventh month of pregnancy, to held a battle against death for three more days until her heart reached his last beat. And my baby cousin, who got an old lady- like name, was also lost when her father and Rosalie took her away from us.

So, yeah, Bella was the young lover, the foolish girl, the brave mother, the victim. And of course, Renee's past fit perfectly with that description. That's why she never loved my mom the same way: Alice was brilliant, the talented one, the girl fate never took by surprise. The one that worked the hardest and reached the life she wanted: a loving husband, two loving kids, a home, a good job. She had all Renée could never have, so why extra love?

My mom had also another thing, because family is family, after all: a deep hole in her heart for the loss of her dear sister and her little niece. And same goes for me: I miss my cousin. I want to tell her how much I loved her, and get to love her again the same way. Get to know her again. And I will be able to do it! Last week, mom met Tanya, a friend of Edwards, and she put us in contact with him. Mom went to meet him, so they could choose a date and a place for our first meeting with Renesmee. Dad doesn´t seem very enthusiastic about it, but I know he only fears that Edward breaks our hearts again. And Alex, the only one who wasn't born at the time of the tragedy, was confused at first but now feels really happy about having a cousin.

Mom and Edward set the meeting for Saturday at lunchtime. Saturday! That's in two days! She also saw a picture of Renesmee in her father's phone, and got to talk to her for some moments. Aparently, our long lost cousin isn´t that scary: she has a sweet voice and do not read much (she didn´t get that from her mother's side). Sadly, she also looks very much like her father.

Oh! I really don't know what to do! Or how to feel... I mean, I feel happy and everything but... I am still scared... I think at one moment I started thinking I would never see her again. It is like when the most expected mail arrives several years later. One feels happy, but without the enthousiasm. I know I shouldn´t compare this situation with mail... but that is actually a pretty accurate metaphore of how I feel. Oh, I wish she is still a sweet girl... And that no one of us says something that can upset Edward or Rosalie.

I cross my fingers for saturday...


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Saturday  
So this is awesomeness. I feel like I'm floating. The most expected and most feared afternoon just happened... And was better that all I could have dreamed about it.  
Renesmee was not that terrible, stormy, bad behaved, hating-the-world girl. Not at all. She emis/em a surprizingly cute, sweet and strong person, a childlish and romantic girl looking for comprehension and close friendship. A brave girl who really wanted to meet her family, even fearing being rejected. Definetely, a non-spoiled and very interesting little teen. She grew up with (even if not the best) a mother and a father (Rosalie and Edward), and I can´t thank God enought for that. Plus, she is skiny, and has light brown, thin and striaight hair- just like me! She is a dreamer. A fighter. A friend just asking for her half. A- mazing.

Of course, I didn't recognize her at first sight. It was hard to see the girl I waited for in that freshly grown teen with a short-haired blonde by her side. When I reluctantly accepted that the woman, who was coming closer to me, could be Rosalie, ... that meant that the girl could only be...  
\- Hello. Mmmm... it's you, right? I mean, come here, take a seat, please.

She looked at me, not showing other signs of a strong emotion than her wide open, sparkling eyes. They were greenish, like her father's. In fact, she looked very much like him. Her face was slim, very different from the round face she had as a baby. She wasn´t specially beautifull, still, she had the charm of a little girl, and something princess-like. I searched for Bella's features in this new face.

\- Hi, I'm Renesmee, your cousin- she introduced herself.

She didn't know I knew about her! Before that could break my heart, I interrupted her:

\- Yes I ... I know, Nessie... I changed your diapers when you were a baby.- I did my best to explain.

Despite my confused way of espressing myself, she got the message, and her face lighted up. Clearly, she wasn´t expecting that.

\- Oh!- she breathed. Her expression changed as she started to look at me trough another light.

I quickly reached her with my arms, and we gave each other a hug. The feeling of having _her_ between my arms was surreal. I could barely believe it. I hugged her stronger, never to let her go away again.

My mom quickly joined us, and Renesmee met her with a grin of surprise. The two sisters were so much alike! Both white skinned, dark-haired, chocolate-eyed and expressive.

They were like twins. And from what I saw in the picture Edward showed us, the only difference was the height (Bella was taller) and the look on her face. Bella stared at the camera terrified.

We saw some photos of Renesmee as a kid- always skinny and smiling, but with a serious air, like an adult.

We ate- Renesmee was selective with her food, so we had to order a special meal for her- and talked, and gave her the presents we brought her: a beautiful necklace, a book, two pens... I wanted to give her a notebook, but I didn´t know wich art she preferred. But she found a way of showing me her feelings: she draw my name in big characters, and surrounded them with stars, a crescent moon, and a flower. She also wrote a message about how she liked me and wished to be close with me because I was very important for her. I loved her. I never stopped loving her. She was making my heart flower again. Like a phoenix, I felt my hope reborn in my chest.

Rosalie and Edward faded between the food. They were too busy at the other side of the table to pay much attention - or to take part in- the conversation. Which time, Renesmee asked me _everything_ about our past moments together. Naturally, I told her everything, remembering detail after detail, telling them the best way I could, just to see this sweet smile spreading across her face. Renesmee spoke with each member of the faily, but mostly with the women, and I was curious about her childhood... So she told me she had a big family, with cousins that protected her, and kept her safe almost everywhere, and with friends that, even if they argued with her sometimes, she would always forgive and protect, because she was very able to defend herself. I was so proud of her!

We made a connection easily, because she saw me as an experienced teen- wich I kind of was- and felt free to talk about boys. She inquired many times how many relationshipos I had had, and with who, and why, and if I just was a friend of my friends... or a bit more. A girl dreaming of her first love. Just like me... because I never felt that kind of love before. And it was fine, I knew it would come.

Renesmee was fascinating, friendly and special. She is more than a dream come true. Our goodbyes took a time I wished infinite. We ran, and talked, and took photos, and added each other to our social networks, and talked even more. Just to avoid our parents. We wanted to be together longer, like two friends that do not want to stop playing.

But the twilight came, and then the night. I hugged her one last time, happy thinking that we would be meeting again very soon.

\- Take this- she said as she handed me her bracelet. - You will remember me with it. And you should wear it the mext time we met, okay?

I took the gift, and promised.

\- Of course I will.

We said goodbye.

I am unbelievably happy. My wrist is holding a promise, and my smartphone is waiting for a message from her.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Distant

Distant, that is what she has always been, and what she is again. But distant doesn´t mean torn apart, far away- it only stands for not close enough.

I get to call her, text her or send her photos, and we talk and share those things we use to ask when we want to get to know someone. Yet I don´t know if she wants to know us. She stays... so distant.

Grandma Renée is sicker every day. SHe is tired of wanting to feel good, I presume. She lets herself die again. Ugh, I hate this attitude!

So Alice worries about her, and feels the need to blame Renesmee... But I talked to her. "Mom, she is just a girl. She is overwhealmed. Doesn´t know what to think, how to feel. She's split between curiosity and a heavy responsability, because accepting us in her life means assuming her mother's loss. She is just a girl, she is not ready to bear it all at the same time. Give her time." I really believe it. But it has been a month since we met her, and I sart to feel lonely.

I have noticed that Dad only refers to her as "your mother's niece". Like he doesn't want me to think she is my cousin. Like he wants to spare me that suffering. But he forgets our story, and that I am already part of it.

Those late days, with Renesmee, we talked about school. She kind of hopes me to introduce her to the world of girl stuff: cool friends, boyfriends and make up and parties and everything that goes with it. Ha, like I was part of it. I'm a senior, have a few friends, sometimes make up, but that's all. Like I ever had a boyfriend in my life. Ha. But it is cute to see her want that, because I also felt this way when I was her age.

It must be hard to deal with all that drama, knowing that you play the most important role in it and at the same time you totally ignore what actually happened. We remind her of Bella, of her loss. We are an unespected gift in most aspects. And it must be very hard to fear being accepted, and to accept us as well.

Renee is like a threat I don't want to tell her. I mean, she already has a lot to think about, so a depressing grandma... But, hey, something... there must be something we can do. We need to meet again!

Valentine's day is coming. Our birthdays are coming. I mean, if we don´t meet again soon and start doing it regularly, I... something.

 _\- Hey, how are you today?_

C'mon, Nessie. Answer me.


	5. Chapter 4

_Hello. Before starting with this chapter, I would like to thank the people who reviewed. Finding these beautiful comments just inspired me to continue this story. It's a really nice little present, and if you're interested or want to say something about_ _Starlight_ _, I want to her (read) you._

 _Also a big thank you to all the readers. You gave a chance to my work and I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed! And I hope you'll enjoy what's next._

- _L.T._

Chapter 3: Ha,ha!

It's night. I am doing my homework against my will (not very interested on the subject, and looking forwards to bedtime, because I feel tired), and suddenly, my phone starts beeping. The unbearable ringtone we all know. I am pretty stressed and it drives me crazy instantly. I reach the phone with anger in my thoughts (Who DARE disturbing me!)... and when I look at the message I see it's Renesmee's.

I don´t know what weird mechanism activates then, but I am automatically tuned into soft mode. I ... sigh with tenderness and relief. Weird. Normal. Love. I just feel this for this little young lady who sometimes feels like appearing (peering) in my life.

We start a conversation. It's awkward in the beginning: we don´t know what to say, and what to keep silent. I can´t tell her things that would remind her of Bella, not in the sad way, or things that would evidence my wealth since she isn´t wealthy, and things like this. But it's also that I don´t really know where we are... in our relationship. If she would appreciate to hear my speechs about my student, geek, not so glamourous life. So I ask her about hers. And she is in the same situation.

After a moment, I get bored of this awkwardness and beggin to tell her about my friends and some of my classes (for example sports, where I suck at, and apparently it's genetic), then we talk music, because it's a passion we have in common. She is childlish. Funny. And Sweet. She makes my heart ... like when something is cold and you warm it up quickly, and it gets a really mixed temperature, just before liquifiying... that's what I feel. But I have to make sure I still have the control.

So I build up a strategy. In order to get an answer to the question: "When are you coming?", I call her. So she can´t ignore the message!But the girl avoids it. She is not sure, she has a lot of work. Hey, baby, sorry but I AM IN SENIOR YEAR, I HAVE MORE WORK THAN YOU DO AND STILL ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR YOU!-my heart yells. But I sigh. "It's okay, dear, just try to take time for us soon, okay? We really want to see you again."

Second strategy, that is more like an idea that crosses my mind making me feel brilliant: make Renee talk with her once and for all!

When Renesmee asks about her grandma, I reply: "Do you want to talk to her?", and the answer is positive. So, (yes!), I rsuh out of my room and into the sofa where Renee spends her life on.

\- Granny, telephone! For you!

\- Who?

I ignore her.

\- Who is it?

Once she has grabbed the cellphone, I draw away. She then repeats the questions on the phone- and I start chewing on a piece of fruit I find nearby. I need to chew on something, because it's intense. Will Grandma cry?

I don´t know who she thinks it is, but I can say she feels scared it can be a stalker. Ha! No, it's just our beloved Renesmee! I look at her while chewing. When she realizes who she is talking to, she is surprised. And, I can say, happy. Happy, Ha,ha! Mwahaha! It wasn´t a bad idea after all! So they talk, Renee asks just questions that are usual, because she feels overwhealmed. They are mostly about school. Renesmee seems a good student, but her school is none of the best. And she also seems to have a problem with reading. Who knows why.

And finally, they reach the central question: When will we meet again? And there, my little couin find it harder to say just no. There are conditions that grandmothers impose... it's part of what they are, I suppose. So Renesmee promises she will call Alice to set a date... and then Grandma starts to show signs of alert: she is getting red, hiding her face... I take my cellphone from her just in time.

\- So, how was Grandma?

\- Good.

\- Did you like talking with her? What dis she ask?

\- Well she asked me about my school... and I have to call Alice to see later... to see if we can have a lunch toghether one day or so.

\- Hum.. That sounds really nice.- I comment. (But inside, It's victory! Ha,ha!)


	6. Chapter 5

_Hello. This silent writer would like to thank you for your views and for these amazing reviews. Claire doesn´t deserve to be left expecting, and neither do you. So, here is chapter 5. Enjoy and tell me what you think._

 _-L. T._

* * *

Chapter 5: What to expect

.

Sad week-end. I thought I was expecting something. But nothing happened.

I have craved for her messages all the week, hoping to see them appear each time I checked my smartphone. They didn´t, because there were none. I wonder what happened to my girl. Did she get satisfied and decided to go back to her older life? Did one of the Cullens tell her bad, false stories about us? Do they keep her at distance againt her will? Is she fighting to see us again, like we thought before?

Maybe she thinks she has to choose between them and us, between her life and this strange new possibility of roots. Maybe it hurts too much to love us.

Maybe I'll cry right now.

...

At home, we sometimes mention her. We do it with delusion, with a bit of awkwardness and regret. Even, Renee said she is like her father, because she didn´t read the book we gave her, and Alice started to get a bit mad. She has a devoted respect for books, but that's not the only reason. Actually, I know she feels left aside, betrayed somehow. We all do. Some sort pf biterness when we think about these weeks of total silence instead of the meetings she promised. She is getting away, again. How do we stop it?

...

Do you know what a birthday cake is? What it can be? I can make it be a love potion, a love canvas, a lovesong. I can bake it stawberry-happiness, I can make it taste love and joy tears. I can build it a tradition or a surprise, a speciality or a lovely gift full of new and of memories' mist.

Do you know what it is like, when you start, inconsciently, looking for each ingredient in the secret of you heart, and thoughout the city? When you put all your love and your hopes into that bowl, and you stir, and beat, and mix more and more... and when you reach the oven, and everything you've ever dreamed it could become shivers, and everything can happen?

I spent St Valentine's without her. Not even a word.

My birthday passed without her noticing. Not even a sigh.

And now it's gonna be hers, and I can´t stop myself from looking. For ingredients for our love. But you can´t make a love potion. You aren´t supposed to know what to expect, and you musn´t force it.

So, my dear Renesmee, I will only send all my love to you... And hope you'll be listening.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Like a teenager or a confused child**

 **.**

She ended up picking up the phone, saying yes, and going to have lunch with us.

The funny and interseting thing is, she did it on her own. No Cullens. No one but her. Just her, only her, perfect her.

We picked her up in the car (it felt kind of intimate with six people in the volvo). We smiled awkwardly and talked awkwardly. And of course, we gave her as many presents as we could.

\- Hey, look, I am wearing...

\- My bracelet!- she smiled.

\- Yeah. And this one is for you.- I gave it to her, and she put it in its right place. I felt warmth in my heart.

We arrived at the restaurant, and it was crowded. Renee enetred first with mom and little Alex, while Renesmee and me had to stay ouside in the line, waiting for our turn. We talked meanwhile, about school, about her birthday and her mini party, about her new clothes. She was funny. She is now tlwelve, but still acts childlish, and it is adorable. If it was up to me, I would fall in love with all her little details... but I can´t I still am on my guards. I do not trust her entirely, and I think it has to see with her response to all of this.

While we were waiting at our table, and mom went tothe restroom with Alex, Renee and me were the only left with Renesmee. I thought it was the best ocasion to share with her, especially for Renee, who cries every five minutes when she remembers Renesmee's story. But the girl was listening to her I pod, earphones plugged to her ears, eyes stocked to the screen. I mean, you wanna see your family or not? Why are you scaping reality the teenager way when you're supposeed to be interested! Before my hert could broke (or my anger could rise), I told Grandma:

\- Talk to her.

\- But... no I better don´t...

\- Hey, you want to talk to her everyday and she bever calls. We thought she wasn´t coming. Now we are finally getting to see her and you stay silent like a rock! Tell her something!

My insistance worked. Grandma approached her and asked her if she was doing well at school. Obviously, Resesmee didn´t get a word, and was obliged to stop using her Ipod. The miracle lasted only five minutes.

She ordered the same plate I ordered. She also asked me if she better listened to Violetta or to Justin Bieber. She is looking for some role-model in me, I think. But I don´t understand. If she needs me, why not aswerong my messages, or contacting me more often?

Our waiter made some mistakes with the entries, the lemonade... but he was nice, and polite, so we forgave him. Plus, he was handsome too. We all laughed about it - well, all the girls.

We had twenty minutes to eat. I am used to eating fast, so I finished my amazing shimp salad- but the rest of my family had to put their food in carry-on plastic boxes. We had to attend a movie on time!

...

We went to the movie and had a lot of fun. I wasn´t the only who laughed like a kid!

Sometimes, during the movie, her face lightened with the projected colors and with her smile. I sared at her and she stared at me, and so our eyes met in a spark of complicity.

After the movie, Cinderella's spell had only twenty minutes left. Mom wanted to buy a snack, but in the cinema store they had an old-tasting nut mix, and she complained. I hope my cousin wasn´t scared, because mom can be very persuasuive and scary when she wants.

Later, she invited Renesmee to an ice cream. She picked a banana split, and we were stuck in the queue for another five minutes. When they gave her her ice cream, it was already time to go. We ran to the car and rushed to the meeting point. Renesmee, meanwhile, ate happily. She offered me some (it was delicious, but I only took a spoon). I think we are spoiling her.

When we arrived, she said goodbye and spread kisses. Why was time so fast? Why did she have to leave? It was unfair!

\- Bye, Nessie. I love you.

\- I love you too.

The door closed, and she walked along with her father, dissapearing into the darkness as we drove home.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: A lovely surprise

I was busy trying not to think about her, and foxusing instead on my school work, my friends, my hobbies... Surprizingly, they take a lot of space. And so, one day, I receive a message.

It's a picture, actually. Yes. You won´t believe it. She sent me a picture of her, plus some cute messages about her violin conert.

Her first violin mini-concert, but her firs concert after all. She smiled sweetly with her instrument at her back. Then another: she was playing.

 _You look beautiful!_ , I wrote, excited and proud. Then: _How does it sound?_

The answer was a small video...

To say the truth, I must confess that the group played pretty bad. There were some violins off-key, and nobody seemed to care that they ruined the song and the work of the others! I couldn´t see if hers was off-key, though... but it didn´t matter. I told her she was the best musician, like a proud mother does with her children, even if they aren´t.

But what matters to me is... that she is understanding the violin, starting to see it, to love it, to feel through it... exactly like me when I was a kid... Or maybe better, since I quit...

I haven´t told anyone except Alex. And he wasn´t thrilled, it was normal for him. He doesn´t feel the strong happiness of being recognized by this silent, long-lost girl.

Well... I hope I'll see her soon, hear her soon, play with her some day in the near future...


End file.
